Today was one of THOSE days. Moms of young children, you may be able to relate.
My day began with a 5am wake up call from my sleepy two year old who wanted food. He also did not want to wear underwear under his pants at any point today. My oldest shot his sister in the face with a nerf gun. Each child got hurt multiple times, which brought uncontrollable crying. They also couldn’t find ways to be kind to one another. The sleepy two year old quickly became the crabby two year old. Somehow, he had two accidents in the span of 2 hours, which meant messes that needed extra attention from me. Oh, and speaking of messes, I am sure there was more macaroni on the floor after lunch than in their bellies. All three children seemed to forget that I am the parent and they are the child. The disobedience was intense throughout the morning. Doing schoolwork was the last thing on their list of activities today.
I will admit that I yelled, muttered, cried, prayed, said I was sorry, and hugged my children tightly all before nap time. Yes, it was just one of those days. It was a day that reminded me of something very important. I have been given grace and I need to extend grace. I cannot be perfect all the time and neither can my kiddos. It also taught me that I want more than good behavior from my children. I desire for their hearts to love the Lord above all else. Oh, how I want this for my own heart. A changed heart brings genuine, changed behavior.
Were the kids really more misbehaved than usual? No. Then why was today so difficult? It was me. I was frustrated, stressed and overwhelmed by other situations in my life and because of that, I only noticed the problems with the children instead of seeing the good also. I allowed my lack of joy and peace with things out of my control to overtake my attitude with the children. I was so preoccupied with my own struggles that I only saw my children as an added burden. They just couldn’t do anything right today. And neither could I. My gaze wasn’t on Jesus. He is the One Who keeps my perspective in line and my heart from sin. He is my joy and my strength. He offers peace that surpasses all my understanding. Without Him, there is no good in me. I was trying to do today without Him. He was there, but I was not acknowledging His presence.
At the end of the day, I am disappointed in my children’s sins, but I am deeply grieved at my own. After all, I am the parent, who should be setting an example of how to be a mature Christian. I am yearning for sanctification and grateful for forgiveness when I fall short. I was reminded again just how much I need the Lord every hour of every day. At this moment, I am thankful for the Holy Spirit working in my children’s lives despite all my flaws.
Tomorrow, I will wake up and this day won’t seem as bad. A good night’s rest can make a big difference. But the real reason for this is because His mercies are new every morning! He is faithful. I don’t want to dwell on yesterday’s sin. I took that to Jesus and He forgave it. Each new day brings a chance to be more like Christ and less like the world. And by His grace, this is my prayer for tomorrow.
Seeking Wisdom,
